About Those Men Who Use NLP to Manipulate Women

Men Manipulating Women with NLP

They’re cowards, not men.

According to the iNLP Center, NLP or neuro-linguistic programming is a set of skills used by coaches, consultants, and therapists to help people overcome obstacles and get what they want.

NLP is a very useful set of communication skills, revealing patterns and nuances in our non-verbal communication that happen to be powerful influencers. It’s great stuff. Because NLP is primarily focused on non-conscious communication, it’s power to influence often goes undetected by casual observers.

Enter the NLP-trained men who use NLP communication skills to get women to give them what they want – mostly sex. These men are NOT NLP practitioners. They’re first and foremost liars and manipulators. It doesn’t matter which skill a manipulator uses. It’s still manipulation.

Why do men use NLP to manipulate women?

It’s clearer to ask why men feel a need to manipulate women in the first place. Why spend time learning neuro-linguistic programming techniques to manipulate unsuspecting women when you don’t need to be manipulative in the first place?

And here’s the rub. These particular men are so insecure that they believe they only way to get a woman to cooperate is by tricking her. In their minds, the men that they are is not enough. It’s basic low self-esteem, coupled with the desire to cheat their way into a woman’s heart (but mostly her bed).

In other words, they don’t know that they are enough as a man all by themselves. They naively believe they need some magic potion with which to woo women. And here’s the real tragedy. Sometimes it works. Now, they’re really stuck, if they have a caring bone in their body. They just tricked a woman into bed. Now what? If the relationship continues, how do they keep up their scam? Are they going to hide behind NLP techniques forever?

When will the real man (or wimp) emerge?


And if you’re one of these cowardly men who think you need to manipulate women with NLP, you know this! Before long, your true nature will emerge, sooner or later (probably sooner) and you’ll be exposed as the dork you are. And she’ll lose interest, right? You’re stuck.

NLP to manipulate women  – or is there a better route?

There’s a better route. It’s called really becoming a genuine man, confident in who you are (and not looking up to that sleazy pick-up artist who taught you the promised ninja moves to get women into bed).

Just knock it off. At best, tricking women is a short-sighted, short-lived, unfulfilling, scummy move to make. Worse, it’s not who you are. Every time you try out those NLP moves on a woman, there will be fear lurking in the background of your soul. Why? Because you know this isn’t you.

A real man is in the process of ever-becoming himself, genuine and real. And by the way, in my experience, this is what women find most attractive.

What are you afraid of?

honesty men women nlp manipulation

Uh oh. Now we’re venturing into touchy-feely territory. Intimacy. When you’re honest – when you’re just being yourself, you give people a chance to know you – the real you. This is the start of intimacy. You’ll be seen for who you are and therefore get the chance for a real connection.

And that’s what men who manipulate women are most afraid of. They want the physical rewards, perhaps a stroke to their fragile ego, but not a real connection. A real connection implies responsibility, most notably the obligation to step up and be a man.

We can sum up men who manipulate women to tools like NLP as, not real men, but scared little boys who’d rather hide behind manipulation tactics to gratify their adolescent desire for sex than to grow up. The bad news for them is that you can’t hide for long.

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Do Real Men Get Hypnosis?

You’re a man’s man and someone recommends hypnosis as a cure for something that ails you? Do you jump at the chance?

All else being equal, OF COURSE you’d consider getting hypnosis from someone a certified hypnotherapist who is properly trained.

Here are three reasons why:

Reason #1. Hypnosis expands your mind. During a hypnosis session, you’ll chill out completely and allow your unconscious mind to teach you. Your unconscious mind is a hell of a lot smart than you are.

Reason #2. Real men get help when they need it. If a hypnotherapist can help you, so be it. If you’re scared to get help – like it would damage your fragile ego, then you’re a wuss. Own up to your limitations. Get help if it’s the smart thing to do. What? You think hanging onto problems and pretending you’re above it all is the manly way to go? Nope.

Reason #3. Your life will get better if the hypnosis works. And there is an impressive amount of research to suggest it does – even neuroscience accepts hypnosis. Why wouldn’t you take the pragmatic approach and make your life work better? Imagine – a few weeks from now, whatever problem you’re having could be 100% better through hypnosis. Or, it could be the same old problem you have right now. Take your pick.

Bottom line: Get over whatever hangups and fear you have about getting hypnotized. If you think it could work for you, then it can! Give it a shot and don’t let your ego get in the way.

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A Carnivore Living on a Raw Food Diet

I definitely did not start out on a Raw Food diet.

Like many in the western world I grew up with caring parents, who raised me on a pretty standard diet, meaning at least one meal every day was based around meat, occasionally fish, but most often Lamb, Beef or Chicken.

Football on a Raw Food DietBeing Australian, my early life was active, revolving around sports, winters filled with football, summers filled with Cricket and athletics. Summer also meant innumerable meals around the barbeque featuring the usual Aussie sausages, steaks of all descriptions, lamb chops, veal chops, pork chops, pork spare ribs, you name it all marinated of course, and for variety plenty of chicken, or occasionally whole rainbow trout, or salmon.

With no intent at all, my parents had conditioned me to understand that great tasting food came from the three underlying staples of Western cooking, fat (preferably animal), salt and sugar (disguised in all of its forms).

A Family Tradition

Looking back at my paternal family, it is evident that this was a diet handed down from generation to generation. It was also a diet that came at a significant, yet mostly unconnected price tag.

My paternal grandfather walked to the front garden one morning, and died there of a massive Heart attack, age 54

Fifteen years later, my father, at the age of 46, suffered a major heart attack whilst tending his back garden. Fortunately communication, transportation and acute medical care had improved dramatically in those 15 years. My father lived, underwent a quadruple bypass at age 49, but was forced to retire by 55.

One paternal uncle died without warning, you guessed it, of a heart attack in his late 50’s, whist the other suffered a massive stroke which took away his quality of life for his remaining years.

It would not take a great statistician to recognise a pattern, but, like most people I simply went on my way, eating as I had “learned” to eat, enjoying a barbeque and a beer, making absolutely no connection between eating habits and a rapidly approaching freight train.

Obviously, that train has not yet hit or I would not be writing this, and as my age is very soon to have a 6 in front of it, I might just have managed to alter the course of family history, but I can take little credit for that.

Good fortune, not Good management

My only health issue to date came in my forties, when severe and continued abdominal pain turned out to be gallstones, something my traditional GP was very keen to fix with a quick flick of a surgeon’s scalpel. Luckily a second opinion from a doctor with a far broader understanding explained the role of the gall bladder, and the increased risk of heart disease that would follow.

Needless to say we sort alternatives.

After enduring a few extra weeks of discomfort, drinking a good deal of rather offensive liquid tonic, along with a great deal of Lemon juice and water, I had a healthy Liver and a healthy Gallbladder, drug intake zero, surgery zero, and hospital time zero.

So lesson learned right, wrong.

Like so many men I was totally Non-Conscious when it came to food.

My education started 5 years later.

My wife, Lucy, who founded the Raw Food Institute of Australia, was diagnosed with MS.

Only too aware that medical science had no cures for, and little effective support in treating this complex degenerative condition, Lucy set about searching for and investigating alternative methods which might make a difference.

As her health continued to deteriorate , Lucy’s search widened, and her understanding of the power of Nutrition grew.

Finally a few days spent with Don Tolman provided a starting point for the most significant education of my life to date.

The transition to a Raw Food Diet

Without going through all the details, in essence Lucy decided to embark on a strict Vegan, Raw Food Diet, which would be assisted by a number of temporary detox processes.

It sounded like a tough road, but we had already experienced the alternative and that seemed to be tougher, and at least this offered some hope.

To me, the thought of her turning her back on many food choices seemed like a tough ask, but the thought of her doing that, and still preparing those foods for me, seemed a step too far, and clearly failure here was not an option.

I made the only choice I could logically make, and as a token of support embarked on the new raw food diet eating regime as well.

Many know of the found of the Raw Food Institute of Australia, Lucy’s, history through the story of the Cafe she started in 2011 through her Raw Food cookbook, Kind Living Kitchen, or from the video Healing with raw food, but only those close to her know just how severe her symptoms once were, and how completely those symptoms have disappeared

For me it is more difficult to pin point the benefits of a total dietary and lifestyle change.

For now I will accept the absence of any ailments, excellent blood pressure, and seemingly avoiding the family curse as evidence that our choices are also working for me.

I chose a plant based raw food diet less as a preference for the food, and more a choice for better health.

Much like someone giving up smoking or alcohol, I had cravings for the carnivore lifestyle, and fell off the wagon occasionally in the early days, but every day that I didn’t helped to bring me to a point where cravings for meat, sugar and fat are no longer a factor in my life. Lucy really helped encourage me to follow my raw food diet.

I am still known to look into our refrigerator and complain that there is little in there that I recognise as food, at which time Lucy pulls out all of that stuff, applies the raw food diet skills she has acquired, and in minutes my need for food, and taste has been satisfied.

Choosing a Raw Food diet makes sense but most of us will not stay the course unless it is easy, and tastes great. That’s why Lucy, and Laura (our resident Nutritionist) created our Living Raw Food made Easy program. For less than 75 cents per day anyone can now reclaim their families health.

Along the way we have met and learned from some fabulous people.

I have already mentioned Don Tolman who pulled it all together for us, later came David Rafter and his partner Amanda, who personally opened my eyes to the massive global destruction our carnivorous lifestyle causes every day, and later still the chance to meet Dr. Gabriele Cousins, probably the most conscious medical doctor on the planet.

Along with Lucy, I have these forward thinking people to thank for an education that is improving my health every day, and which our adult children, living hundreds of kilometres away have now all chosen to follow.

Even if your family has no history of heart disease, stroke or cancer, the massive growth in type 2 diabetes and pre diabetes across the planet, (due almost entirely to eating habits), brings all of those into play, for all of us.

Today I instinctively recoil at the food offerings of the fast food giants, the carcinogenic soft drink suppliers, and see animals not as food, but as friends and worthy co inhabitants of our property and our planet.

The move to a Raw Food diet has been a transition in much more than eating.

On a daily basis , I don’t so much choose Raw Food, I chose good health.

For men, carrying abdominal fat is an almost unavoidable result of todays animal based diets. It is also an accepted risk factor in all major killers of men,Heart disease, Stroke, Cancer (even Prostate cancer), and Diabetes.

A more connected, better educated and more conscious lifestyle, is a massive and unexpected benefit for me.

The advertising campaign says “every Cigarette is doing you damage”, and few will argue.

The China study shows that every animal based meal is doing the same.

Each plant based meal you eat is a victory for your body, and the planet as a whole.

Written by Gary Clement, previously published at The Raw Food Institute of Australia.

Click here to learn about getting started on a raw food diet with a 21-day health boost program. Or, get certified as raw vegan culinary course to take your raw food diet to a new level!

Looking for some diet motivation strategies?

Check out iNLP Center‘s NLP Practitioner Certification Online training. You will learn how to increase your motivation to achieve your goals through simple, intuitive structured learning.

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Who Are You? Take this Self Awareness Test to Find Out

self awareness test man

What does it mean to know yourself? How do you know if you know yourself? How do you know what you don’t know? Hopefully, this self awareness test will give you a clue.

What is self-awareness?

According to Dictionary.com, self awareness is the state or condition of being aware; having knowledge; consciousness as related to self.

So, how do we acquire this knowledge or consciousness of self?

There are really only two ways we can do this. One, by trying to really see ourselves. Two, by asking others about ourselves.

The thing to remember is that other’s views of us can be influenced by their experiences with themselves. So, we really have to first know ourselves in order to determine the validity of other’s experiences of us.

What type of things should you look for when examining yourself?

Most of the time, we go through the day acting and reacting to thoughts and events. How often do we stop to think about how or why we act or react? Or, questions where our thoughts come from? This is the beginning of becoming more self-aware.

Now, if we don’t know where our actions and reactions are rooted from, how we expect to make good, grounded decisions or relationships with others?

So, the goal is to examine ourselves. The self awareness test will tell you how self-aware you and what you need to work on.

Where do our thoughts and actions come from? Here are some clues:

The usual… Parents.

The influence our parents or primary caregivers have on us is quite extreme. From such an early age, it is their opinions that form how we see ourselves and other. What they believe becomes the norm and other’s opinions are competing.

Take the 2016 election as an example. My kids come home each day and tell me what their friends believe about the candidates. I ask them where their friends got that information and they say their parents. Based on what their parents tell them will have a large effect on how they see the world and the way they see others.

Most kids do not have the self-awareness of self-awareness to even question their resulting thoughts and personal opinions. Then, as they move into adulthood, generally don’t find a need to think deeply about themselves until the shit hits the fan. Then, maybe.

Personal Paradigm

You personal paradigm is the way you see the world. This, as mentioned above, can be directed related to your parental influence – good or bad.

If you had a great relationship with your parents, you may have adopted their views. If you have a bad one, you may have rebelled against their beliefs. Either way, your personal paradigm is related to theirs.

Becoming more self-aware will allow you to know why you have the personal paradigm you do. To develop this awareness, you look into your world view and trace it, like genealogy, to where your opinions came from. That would allow you them to either reject them or embrace them… on purpose. Otherwise, you are thoughtlessly following, like a sheep.

This now takes us into…

Life Values

What and why are your values? And, do you walk your talk or are you a hypocrite? Generally, when we have a thoughtless or unintentional personal paradigm we aren’t passionate about it. We don’t put 100% in backing up our values. We might go through the motions of keeping that value because we have to. But, maybe not because we actually want to. That’s the difference.

By increasing your self-awareness through this awareness test, you may begin to notice that you are blinding following the heard, and you really don’t know why you have the values you do. Taking a personal inventory of the what’s and why’s of your values is essential to deeper self-awareness.


When you aren’t self-aware, you often self-sabotage. You sabotage yourself because you aren’t aware of what your deeper needs truly are. Instead, the current below the surface is guiding your life and making your decisions instead of the conscious you.

Self-sabotage is possibly the worst result of a lack of self-awareness. No matter how much you think you know what you’re doing, as long as you have not looked below the surface you will get the opposite thing of what you truly want. For more information, watch this ending self-sabotage video.

Finally, let’s get to the self awareness test.

self awareness test



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Why Do Men Lie? The Short and Long of It

why do men lie

Why do men lie…

The short answer: Men don’t lie. Boys do.

Still, you might be inclined to call some of these overgrown boys ‘men’ because they are big and hairy. Fine. Call them men, but realize you are dealing with the mentality of a child.

Why do men lie?

Because they are afraid to be discovered for who they are (which includes what they’re up to). Rest assured, if you’re with a man who lies, you do not know who he is. You may think you know him. You don’t. He may not even know.

Some men believe their lies as much as they want you to believe them. Who they really are is lost in a giant smokescreen of their own half-truths.

believe your own lies

(Image credit to Gecko and Fly)

If you want to know why a particular man lies, then start with a different question: Who are you, really?

Of course, this is a vague and difficult question to answer, even for a mature, self-aware person. So get more specific, NLP Meta Model style.

What to ask men when you really want to know why they lie:

How do you really feel about….?

What are you really looking for?

What’s really important to you?

What are you really up to?

What are you honestly expecting from….?

What are you actually trying to accomplish?

What are you hiding?

Answers to these more specific kinds of questions reveal what’s behind the facade and get to the heart of why men lie – what they’re hiding. Manipulative men use lies to hide because they are afraid to be found out.

why men lie

(Image credit to Gecko and Fly)

Why do men lie?

Not being able to handle childish fears prevents them from dealing with:

Conflict when others don’t agree

Disapproval when others don’t approve

Open shame when they are betraying others

Mistakes that might reveal their imperfection

The reality that they can’t have their cake and eat it too

Men lie because they can’t deal with the limitations and consequences of reality, just like toddlers.

Men lie to avoid intimacy. When they don’t feel worthy – and aren’t acting worthily – they can’t allow you in. They don’t want the emotional vulnerability that truth brings. You can’t be emotionally close to anyone without revealing who you are, without honest self-expression.

Men who have childish expectations of life and live trying to fulfill them do not always want to put those cards on the table. Their dirty little secret includes making sure nobody discovers how childish they are.

Of course, childishness is not difficult to notice. Still, childish men do not want to confront their immature selves.

Summing up the question: Why do men lie?

Because they are not men. They are boys who don’t want to face the facts:

You don’t always get what you want – and that doesn’t mean you should manipulate to get it.

You can’t always do what you feel like doing without consequences – and that doesn’t mean you should do it anyway and cover your tracks.

You’re not perfect – and this is not an opportunity to hide your mistakes.

The world doesn’t revolve around you – and this doesn’t mean you should use people to fill your needs, then ignore theirs for as long as they can stand it.

Lying is actually a form of self-sabotage. It doesn’t lead to happiness. When men lie, they sometimes get what they think they want, but in reality, these men only create a lonelier, more desperate world for themselves.

Can you change a man who lies?

No. The only thing you can do is stop tolerating it. Stop pretending along with him. And there will be consequences to this, too. If the man in question is not ready to see his truth, all childish hell might break loose. It’s up to you to decide if you’re ready for that.

If you are a man who lies, knock it off. It’s time to grow up.

Topic: Why do men lie

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